What can you say, she's borderline perfect. If her asshole was able to dispense unopened bottles of Smirnoff I would have had the ring bought yesterday.
He may look like a fool with two broken ribs now. But when a reality show awards you for being a complete fucking brain dead idiot, he's gonna shine. Belee dat.
She was the hottest, most amazing dick riding girlfriend he's ever had the pleasure to ejaculate inside of. The next 10 years are gonna be hard.
"His cousin Johnny Joyce challenged Doherty to a brawl when he spotted him jogging. A fight ensued which Doherty got the worse of and culminated with Joyce sinking his teeth into his ear and biting off the top part of it
And sweet mother of fuck is it a fappable one. It coulda just been an ultra zoom on her cheekbones and the semen would flow into your sneakers for days.
Remi Gaillard: The true inventor of the phrase: Fuck da po lease
Mother fucker, haven't you ever hard of tolerance or bacon grease? Either one would have helped in this situation.
Nothing says pro dong buffet sampler like items picked out of a Victorias Secret discount bin. She should come with one of those deli counter number things.
Crunchy? If so he's got my vote. And the 47 people living next door.
Sporty college girl has kept her formula for a such a tight body a secret all semester long. But we're pretty sure we know her successful routine now.
If he thinks that's bad, just wait until he finds out where his tampons have to be inserted when puberty finishes.
When you house an entire bottle of Bacardi and wake up in a stranger's bed, you're gonna be confused. Or content. Depends on your level of slut.
2012 and it's still happening. What part of the Mayan calender talked about middle easterners trying to launch men into space?
What gets this chick off? What doesn't would be a better question because it would save on paper if you were writing it down. Which you would be. Sicko.
And to think, if he came home just one day earlier he would have stumbled upon the real guy playing dig dug under those sheets. Darn.
Amateur bombshell does an expert job of making sure her significant others nut sac is free of all fluids. Guy has no idea how lucky the lower half of his body is.
I can only hope that 2 liter bottle of Hawaiian Punch in his hand was more important than his life. And since this is in Russia, we know it is.
Don't be surprised if your chin feels like it's burning when she rips the bra off. That's just rug burn from it slamming into the ground in excess of 25 mph.
I'm not even gonna pretend like I know what the fuck is going on here. My PHD in whorology doesn't really cover Austrian women with love-hate relationships towards semen.
Friends with benefits, no strings attached, a license to muff dive - call it what you want. Mondays are always easier after blowing your third load of the day.
Considering that it's 2012, the truth is not all that surprising. 1 in 3 girls have admitted to cherry picking in front of a webcam, and that's a serious statistic.
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