The sounds she emits may be the standard for a Japanese slaughterhouse, but they're definitely a tad out of place here. Not sure if I'd go harder or gag her.

White, semi-attractive and the ability to walk on her own? Shit, bitch should be jockeying for third wife position in Detroit instead of wasting her talents on this.

If you've ever asked yourself "Why is this ten items or less line taking so fucking long?" this might answer your question.

lol.

Cool. Now do it while on cocaine.

And this is why you never get between an idiot and his drug abuse. Fuckers will keep you laughing until the urine flows like the mighty Nile.

Not decking her in the vag was one sure way to get good karma on your side. Another is to not get your girlfriend drunk before putting it in her bunghole.

Can't tell if he actually shit his pants in the middle of his estrogen outrage. But you might while laughing at him.

Sweating chipotle sauce: There are consequences.

Soldier #1 swapped soldier #2's jerk jelly with a bottle of Icy Hot. Don't think that's so bad? Go swipe a one inch line of it on your nut sac and get back to us.

Bet she thought this was an audition for Fast and The Furious 6 too. Sorry blondie, but without Dwayne Johnson's bronco bull slapping you in the face, it's not even the XXX parody of it.

There's no official explanation for the scream but we all know the truth. And that is the slide ending in a room full of horny Chinese men waiting to cover her in premature eggroll bukkake.

Unfortunately the kind of moisture in question isn't sexual. We're talking salty discharge, right into panty land.

The school's band practice is appropriately interrupted by Peter Jackson's son. Who seems to have been rejected an unprecedented 372th time in a row on PlentyofFish the same day of his math test.

Looks exhilarating. Now if there was a home game twice a week, then she might have legitimate reason for swallowing 13 Ritalin pills a day.

Exhilarating. Now make her do this at least twice a week and mom might finally get those grand kids she's always bitching about.

Enraged ginger thinks it's proper etiquette to call the PD's finest a bunch of "bitch ass niggas". We understand, but seriousness is kinda lost on the public when you look like Zach Galifianakis's asshole.

Probably best she sticks to things she's good at, like frying noodles or crashing minivans into bakeries. High speed amusement rides aren't really her thing.

There's a word for people who think it's funny to give drugs to things under 5 feet tall. In my house it's dad

Rule # 23 of living in the hood: If you're gonna park in between OTB and a check cashing place, be prepared to pay that deductible.