Hope that taught him a lesson. About picking on guys smaller than him, and dressing like a 1940's homosexual.

It's mother Russia, so this can only mean one thing. Happy Birthday bro!

One shot and he goes down before someone can call the cops. Just like your sister.

Will he ever try something like this in public again? Only time and an affordable stash of butyrate will tell.

Have to suck it up one day & make a trip over the scariest place on Earth. 98% chance of being run over isn't enough to keep a man away from pussy this solid.

He was in pretty bad shape after this. Being forced to digest your own tongue has a way of doing that to a person.

It's not like this country lucks out with hot women that don't try to eat you after mating has finished. So fap now and fap well because it may be your only chance.

Threesomes? That's so 2011. If Lady Gaga has taught the current generation of whores anything, it's go big or go home. These slutties are going for the former.

Some people say she's way too pretty of a girl to be subjecting herself to sex with strangers. And to those people we say, go fucking fuck yourself you fucks.

You probably shouldn't beat the living shit out of strangers across the street from The Gap. But if you must... make it look something like this.

Leave it to a Russian chick to show dominance in the bedroom. It's always extremely passive or ball sucking tornado with these girls. Confuses my fapping.

Apparently in this part of the world, dumping your load without asking is a sign of respect. At least that's what the Internet tells me. And that's never wrong.

And here I thought Russia was nothing but insane lunatics, hell bent on tempting death every single time they stepped outside.

Finally equal opportunity has come back to Russia.

It's not a real relationship in the Motherland until you go digging for brown gold. Until then, it's just you average sexual assault dispute at the public park.

That story about humans born in the motherland being equipped with a GPS system that makes them hood ornament targets? We believe it now.

Defending yourself properly isn't for everyone. Getting turned into a concrete pancake in the Motherland however, is completely universal and applies to man and woman alike.

Smooth, natural and cute. Plus she's pretty generous with the butthole. Now how do we set the alert on russianbrides.com to tell us when she's ready to ship?

Shit, she could make me purchase a 12 pack of Magnum condoms even though there's nothing I could do with them outside of creating the world's first life size tyrannosaurus balloon animal.

This is why I never trust anything that drinks it's own body weight in Vodka and lives. Especially when it thinks a size 9 to the face is a form of foreplay.