Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
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With a name like Kimi I'm surprised it was the kid doing the crying.
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Hopefully the sidewalks are made out of rubber over there, but I doubt it.
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She may not be able to spell her name right now but her face down ass up position is still perfect.
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I never knew what the sound of your heart coming out of your esophagus sounded like.
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Now how the hell is he going to participate in the anal tickling scene.
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Apparently a chain and kicks to the face are how some people say hi.
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
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I'm pretty sure cops only arrest for indecent exposure above a B cup so she's in the clear.
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If only she didn't have her moms entire stash of twinkies weighing her backpack down she would have beaten some ass.
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All they need to do is sell $10.00 beers and we have a new sport on our hands.
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He finally got someone to practice slow dancing with and he wasn't about to just let him go that easily.
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There's probably no way he survived this so all I have to say is you assholes that like to speed on local roads should have your testicles removed by aids infected piranhas.
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Obviously sex is off limits for months now, but judging by the looks of her I think he was willing to make that sacrifice.
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He totally meant to do that. He just wanted to see if all that creatine could block the pain of concrete.
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I bet the searing sound of pancakes on the stove starts to sound pretty good right about now.
Monday, July 21st, 2008
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Great, now what are all the 18 year old guido's with Sylvia affliction t-shirts going to do now?
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If cable TV prices every sky rocket like gas, I'm going to have to get one of these retards to replace the plasma screen with.
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Unless he was building some sort of crack head fortress, I don't know what the hell he was going to do with 30 rocks anyway.
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It probably took a minute or two for his grandkid to feel it, but I'm sure he did.
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Well once you finally do learn how to blow yourself you need to try new things to keep the excitement up I guess.
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Where there's an open pool, there will always been some genius who asks to be removed with an ambulance.
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Even while completely tanked he keeps up with his morning cardio routine. What a trooper.
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She should probably just be happy her brain stayed in her skull after whiplash hair pulling like that.
Sunday, July 20th, 2008
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What the hell do you expect to happen when you give judge Mills Lane a job working security?
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Turns out those marks were actually left by the bear trap they use as a toilet. They all reconciled over a bowl of squirrel meat and banjo dueling.
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They had a 5 for 1 sale on ghetto de toilette perfume that day so you know that shit hurt.
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Not sure if the lawyer should have been instigating someone who can use spit as a deadly weapon but it's his bloodstream not mine.
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I wonder if anyone else finds the irony in him flinching to a little ash burn there.
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So, if your table is completely destroyed, do you still have to leave a tip?
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That guy they hired to mop up brain matter finally got some use though.
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He's crying because he wanted to save anal sex for his wedding night. Thanks mother nature.
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