Friday, July 4th, 2008
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Only a fight to the death can truly prove who deserves 20% off on Macy's underwear the most.
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I'm pretty sure those consoling hugs really should have been punches to the face. But what do I know, my girlfriends never been run over before.
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The tears are justifiable. You're never going to see a 10 for 1 sale on wife beaters at Wal-Mart ever again, and that was his last one.
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If your acting is so bad that the guy behind you doesn't even wake up, then don't even bother.
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Seeing the terrified look of a 12 year old through an airplane window really freaks out those people flying coach too.
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There's a new pizza delivery rule. 30 minutes or less or get your head knocked off your fucking shoulders.
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I already had an objection with the original naked cowboy, but it's good to see that the loch ness monster has finally found a way to support itself.
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Well at least these guys are taking a dive for something more of their own benefit now. We can't all have Don King filling our trunks with 100's.
Thursday, July 3rd, 2008
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They've been practicing torture techniques forever though. You don't call what happens 2 hours after eating at Taco Bell torture?
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If it takes you longer to get into the ring then it does to lose then maybe MMA isn't the sport for you.
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If it's that easy then I need to make an appointment at Ferrari today.
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The punches to the kids face were awesome, and even better it sounds like Metallica was rehearsing in the band room. This school rocks.
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Didn't seem to phase her much though. She must be used to taking it in the eye.
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This is what happens when you try to get around high gas prices. You just can't win.
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At least one of them could have benefited from the revenge of an eating disordered instead of minor brain damage.
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To his surprise, bullets can still get into his brain while sitting inside the thing.
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
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Finally a place to release all that pent up angst and that's all she comes out with. She is so going to unleash hell in her blog tonight.
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Something about a soccer player using his hands in a fight seems illegal to me. Where's the yellow card?
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I see it's quota time for this police department. They didn't want to strip search him anyway, he skipped his fiber tablet this morning.
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He doesn't really need that foot to have sex with his boyfriend so I don't see why he's so mad.
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Being the assertive woman she is, she hits it twice for good measure. Just in case the stupidity didn't get across the first time.
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Equal rights is awesome, until some chick has to digest a boot and ruin it for everyone.
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At least the term manhole means something now. Maybe we can change it to "big fat booze filled blind idiot hole" to be more precise in the future.
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They must be running a bet back at the stable to see who get the most distance on a jockey.
Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
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It's amazing how she's able to juggle a heroin needle, crack pipe and deck someone while vomiting out horrible excuses for lyrics all at the same time. Excellent multitasking.
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At least it was a step up from his live fecal baths we loved teasing the public with.
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Something about a person filming random teens from far away freaks me out a bit more though.
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Sometimes you just need a second to think it over being face planting yourself to sleep after running into a fist.
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The rice gods must have smited him for installing an under glow kit on a German car.
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Domestic abuse must work better at a younger age.