Is it 1:30 in the afternoon already?

False. They can't come back to life if they were never alive to begin with. Sorry Russia.

Bad things are bound to happen when you have the coordination of meth-addicted giraffe. It happens at the Bronx zoo.

Exhilarating. Now make her do this at least twice a week and mom might finally get those grand kids she's always bitching about.

Smally Biggs has had one Colt 45 too many and has convinced himself he's part of the musical festivities. Luckily a gentleman in the audience gracefully lets him know he's not. Watch and see.

She doesn't actually shit her pants... so if you were expecting that you should probably click something else. And contact a therapist.

That's okay, he was probably going to end up taking a nap there anyway.

Granted that was a pretty good knockout for a chick. But you know some cop is gonna come by and give the topless black guy all the credit. Typical.

And that's why blondes always have more fun than brunettes. And more documented cases of urinary track infections.

The amazing part is she got right back up and went for knuckle sandwich seconds. Clearly she has some Russian blood in her family.

Old people fight like old people fuck: slow, sloppy, and with lots of blood.

Going to parties without a friend to keep your drunk ass in check is one way situations like this happen. Another is having the last name "Lohan".

Follow Ramon on his epic journey to mount a stallion. Laugh, be merry and then thank fuck all he did was get on top of it in his current state of mind.

That would be "0" points in America and about a "9.5" in Russia. Lets meet in the middle and just give him a "fuck off you suck".

I give this sliding faceplant 2 thumbs up. And 2 nipples for the ones he just lost.

Either someone's plan to completely cover her in slop so no one knows he's fucking the chubby girl failed or belugas have evolved at a rapid rate. I'm thinking the former.