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Feb 27th
Declassified documents reveal British defence officials investigated using "alien military technology" to defend earth against extraterrestrial attack
It is not the sort of discussion you imagine among the grey-suited ranks of Whitehall - defence analysts debating the existence of little green men and speculating about whether they have visited Earth.
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Step 1. Steal fuel from sawmill full of wood and sawdust. Step 2. Check to see how much you've gotten with a lighter. Step 3. Flee Inferno. Step 4. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to jail for arson
THREE teenagers allegedly trying to steal petrol from a sawmill's fuel shed have been charged with arson after using a cigarette lighter to see how much they had taken - and burning the place down.
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Explosion kills 2, injures 12 at main Afghan base. Vice President Dick Cheney uninjured
BAGRAM, Afghanistan -- A suicide bomber killed 19 people and wounded 11 outside the main U.S. military base in Afghanistan on Tuesday during a visit by Vice President Dick Cheney, though the vice president was apparently not in danger, U.S. and Afghan officials said.
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Feb 26th
Rat-infested KFC and Taco Bell had passed its annual health inspection the day before the story broke
(CBS) NEW YORK Health officials are going to review the inspection of a Greenwich Village KFC/Taco Bell, which was completed one day before CBS 2 cameras caught dozens of rats scurrying across the store, jumping on tables, and climbing into food trays.
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Man contacts his rape victim from 20 years ago to "make amends" until he finds out that this includes accepting the consequences. Jailarity finally ensues
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. - William Beebe had been haunted by that night for years. He'd tried to send the letter before — and failed. Just like he'd failed to stick with Alcoholics Anonymous. Just like he'd failed at so much in life. This time, he was staying with the 12-step program. But should he really take that treacherous ninth step?
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Hotel owner offers free beer to anyone who brings in a bag of toads
TOM Hedley, Australia's biggest private hotel owner and one of Queensland's richest men, has thrown his support behind plans to introduce a beer-for-a-bag-of-toads bounty. KEN Ritchie never thought he'd see the day a cane toad would be worth its weight in beer, let alone two.
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ARR, pirates attack UN ship off coast of Somalia
NAIROBI, Kenya - Pirates hijacked a cargo ship delivering U.N. food aid to northeastern Somalia on Sunday — at least the third time since 2005 that a vessel contracted to the United Nations has been hijacked off the country's dangerous coast.
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Organized gangs are stealing puppies, and they're not afraid to use violence. Including throwing puppies at you when they're caught mid-heist
A 31-YEAR-OLD Victorian man is in a serious condition in hospital after being stabbed by an intruder stealing puppies.
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Police set on-board computers to shout “D’oh” like Homer Simpson when the see uninsured drivers, explaining "it helps their reaction times"
POLICE have set their car on-board computers to shout “D’oh!” like Homer Simpson when they spot uninsured drivers.
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Feb 23rd
U.S. soldier gets 100 years for Iraq rape, killings
FORT CAMPBELL, Kentucky (AP) -- A U.S. soldier was sentenced to 100 years in prison Thursday for the gang rape and murder of an Iraqi girl and the killing of her family last year.
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Man tries to shoot rattlesnake, accidentally shoots self in leg instead. Guess it's not as easy as Samuel L. Jackson made it out to be
The Seminole County man accidentally shot himself in the leg on Tuesday while trying to shoot at a rattlesnake, WESH 2 News reported.
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Americans claim they will use tax rebates to pay off debt and build up savings accounts, because tax rebate money is somehow different from all other money they receive
NEW YORK (Reuters) - As tax day approaches, about 70 percent of U.S. consumers think Uncle Sam owes them - and they already have plans for their tax refunds, according to a retail industry survey.
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A performance artist wearing a rubber George Bush mask gives passersby a chance to "kick" his butt. He's not expected to live through the day
NEW YORK (Reuters) - New Yorkers got to kick President George W. Bush's butt on Thursday, sort of.
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National Air and Space Museum now hosts more air, space
WASHINGTON - It's a mystery even for researchers at the Smithsonian Institution: What happened to the huge crowds at the National Air and Space Museum?
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US airlines reject call for passenger protection. You submitted this with a lame mile-high club joke
The largest US airlines on Thursday reiterated their opposition to any legislative moves to provide passengers with guaranteed protection in the event of delays caused by poor weather such as those which befell JetBlue customers last week.
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Feb 21st
U.S. not ready for next "big one." Ron Jeremy seen preparing so he can catch it off guard
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Americans have failed to learn the most important lesson of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina: We need to make building resiliency from within our borders as urgent a priority as confronting dangers from without.
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Good News: The troops are coming home. Bad News: Only the British troops
LONDON, England (CNN) -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair will order nearly half the British troops in Iraq home by the end of 2007, British news outlets reported early Wednesday.
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Three teens have a beer with a homeless man, taunt him with sticks and leaves, kick and punch him, throw bricks, rocks and a BBQ grill, beat him with a pipe then smear their own feces on his face and cut him with a knife. The Aristocrats
MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin (CNN) -- All Nathan Moore says he wanted to do was smoke pot and get drunk with his friends.
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Hey, remember all those scary terror statistics? Turns out they were made up
WASHINGTON - Federal prosecutors counted immigration violations, marriage fraud and drug trafficking among anti-terror cases in the four years after 9/11 even though no evidence linked them to terror activity, a Justice Department audit said Tuesday.
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How to tell if it's a slow news day, No. 49: Cow leads police on chase. With bonus: "Lynn Jolicoeur reported that the cow is fat, and sometimes moves slowly"
Upton police went on a cow chase after an escaped bovine from neighboring Grafton came rumbling down Route 140.
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There is now a 12-step program for people who are addicted to checking their email. Still no cure for lurking in threads, hitting F5 obsessively
ALCOHOLICS have one, and so do drug abusers. Now people addicted to email also have a 12-step program designed to tackle their obsession.
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Feb 20th
If you feel disrespected, should you: A) Kill your family with hammer? B) Videotape confession on cellphone? Or C) Both?
A man charged with the beating death of his wife and two female relatives allegedly videotaped himself on his cell phone after the attack, apologizing and saying he felt he had been disrespected, a law enforcement source said Sunday.
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Getting punched in throat and taking hot chicken-soup bath are just a few of the remedies the world is offering to girl with endless hiccups (with video)
Thousands of people from all over the world have e-mailed or contacted a 15-year-old Florida girl about possible remedies for her extreme case of endless hiccups.
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Feb 19th
Remember Rep. William Jefferson - the guy caught with $90,000 in his freezer amid a bribery probe? Pelosi's putting him on the Homeland Security panel
WASHINGTON Feb 16, 2007 (AP)— House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who stripped embattled Rep. William Jefferson of his seat on a powerful tax committee last year, has decided to put him on the Homeland Security panel, infuriating some Republicans who charge he may be a security risk.
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An asteroid named Apophis, has a 1 in 45,000 chance of striking Earth on April 13, 2036. EVERYBODY PANIC
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - An asteroid may come uncomfortably close to Earth in 2036 and the United Nations should assume responsibility for a space mission to deflect it, a group of astronauts, engineers and scientists said on Saturday.
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Remember the couple that caged their adopted kids? Yeah, they got two years
NORWALK, Ohio (AP) -- A couple who forced some of their 11 adopted, special-needs children to sleep in wire-and-wood cages were sentenced to two years in prison Thursday.
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Yesterday's health fad now being feared as unhealthy: tea tree oil. Bonus: it's a likely culprit behind man boobs
Tea tree oil, the increasingly popular remedy for everything from spots to insect bites and vapour rubs, is under threat of being banned by the European Union. The EU has said that even small amounts of the undiluted oil could be unsafe and unstable after clinical trials found users risked rashes and allergies.
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Uncharacteristically lucid and intelligent commentary on the Sunni/Shi'a divide brought to you by Fox News. Wait .. what??
Among the worst members of the it's-all-a-conspiracy pack are those who insist that every Muslim is in on a vast Jihadi conspiracy to make Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks wear a chador (not a bad idea, aesthetically speaking).
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So far this weekend, 13 airplanes at Denver International Airport have been found with cracked windshields and nobody knows why
Feb. 18, 2007 — Investigators at the Denver International Airport are trying to figure out why the windshields on at least 13 planes have cracked.
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Feb 16th
Muqtada al-Sadr's supporters insist he is not hiding out in Iran, despite reports. They're not sure just where he IS hiding out, but they're pretty sure it's not in Iran. Dick Cheney nods approvingly from an undisclosed location
BAGHDAD — Supporters of Muqtada al-Sadr insisted the Shiite militia leader was still in Iraq on Wednesday, denying U.S. claims that he is in Iran.
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