Schwarzenegger will need crutches, screws. Maria Shriver unavailable for comment
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger underwent surgery Tuesday to repair a broken leg and was expected to make a full recovery, although he probably will be on crutches for his second inauguration next month, officials said.
First amendment protection now extends to fad diets when they don't work. In other news, it's time we introduce the
(AP) NEW YORK The Atkins diet is protected by the First Amendment against the claims of a 53-year-old Florida man who said the low-carbohydrate meal plan was dangerous and to blame for his heart troubles, a federal judge in New York ruled Monday.
As predicted by Farkers back in Novermber, Wal Mart somehow locates 20,000 T.M.X. Elmo dolls just in time to save Christmas, get a free news placement commercial
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- After experiencing an initial shortage of T.M.X. Elmo, one of the hottest toys this year, Wal-Mart announced Tuesday that it has landed the Elmo jackpot and will sell 4,000 dolls every day this week on its Web site.
Today's 'robber leaves his bank card behind after robbing it' story brought to you by Vienna
VIENNA (Reuters) - A bank robber who was arrested because he left his account card at a branch where he had checked his balance just before holding it up was sentenced to four years in jail.
Airport security prevents Troy Smith from boarding a flight with his Heisman, preventing him from beating people to death with the trophy on the flight back. Bravo Homeland Security, Bravo
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Troy Smith's Heisman Trophy was shipped home because airport security would not allow the Ohio State quarterback to take it on the plane Tuesday.
Nigerian scammers target world's most gullible prey:
Nigerian e-mail scammers are successfully targeting American churches and ministers, cheating them out of millions of dollars under the guise of spreading the word of Jesus.
Company fires man for failing a nicotine test
(AP) BOSTON A 30-year-old man who has smoked for more than a decade filed a lawsuit Wednesday against The Scotts Co., alleging the lawn and garden company violated his privacy and civil rights when it fired him because he smokes.
Old and busted: The war on Sudafed. The new hotness: The war on Robitussin
Dec. 5, 2006 — Misty Fetko, a mother of two teenagers, got up early to walk the dog before she roused her boys from bed one summer day in 2003. Her eldest, Carl, a gifted guitar player and award-winning artist at his Ohio high school, never woke up.
Bald Elvis impersonator gets death threats because he is
A WELSH-speaking Elvis tribute act has been left all shook up after receiving death threats — because he is BALD.
Woman murders her young son deep in the Australian outback, unaware of the dingo's proficiency in child killing
A WOMAN has been charged with murdering her seven-year-old son at a remote West Australian community.
Austrian kids waiting for Santa Claus also on the lookout for hairy, horned sidekick that wards off evil spirits. Good to see Tom Arnold still getting work
GRESTEN, Austria (Reuters) - As Christmas nears, Austrian children hoping for gifts from Santa Claus will also be watching warily for "Krampus", his horned and hairy sidekick.
Church prohibits family from displaying Australian flag during funeral of dead soldier
THE Uniting Church has again sparked outrage by refusing to fulfil a Digger's dying wish to have the Australian flag draped over his coffin.
The latest retail gimmick from Japan: Free deadly scorpion with every pair of jeans
NAGO, Okinawa -- A woman was hospitalized after a scorpion stung her on the leg and finger while she was trying on a pair of jeans at a clothing shop here, local officials said.
You knew it was only a matter of time. Hamas PM says the fighting between Palestinians factions is the fault of....you guessed it. The U.S
GAZA CITY (CNN) -- Hamas and Fatah agreed Tuesday to a new cease-fire in Gaza after an earlier truce failed to stop street battles that have killed 14 people and wounded dozens more.
Cynthia McKinney admits that some people in her home state were embarrassed by her actions, but points out that they were all "whites and uppity blacks." Glad she cleared that up
Yesterday Georgia Republican State Rep. Len Walker offered a resolution to strip Cynthia McKinney's name off a highway in DeKalb County saying that Ms. McKinney's tenure in Congress was "marked by controversies and rhetoric that has brought embarrassment to the state of Georgia." Walker added, ""Where I come from, we don't name roads for people like Cynthia McKinney."
Bush points out that the Army's looking kinda thin these days. They're doing their part. Are you? Join the Mobile Infantry and save the world. Service guarantees citizenship
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Bush asked his new secretary of defense to draw up plans to increase the overall size of the Army and the Marines, according to an interview with the president published Tuesday in the Washington Post.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Missy Phillips knew she had a big problem on her hands when her boyfriend’s 18-year-old son ransacked their house looking for the stash of unwrapped Christmas presents.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Missy Phillips knew she had a big problem on her hands when her boyfriend’s 18-year-old son ransacked their house looking for the stash of unwrapped Christmas presents.
Atlanta Falcons coach Jim Mora apologizes for publicly announcing he'd rather have the coaching job at the University of Washington, then goes back to losing
Rescuers on Mount Hood find notes left behind by missing climbers. One reads, "You call this a storm? I'll show you a storm"
Atlanta Falcons coach Jim Mora apologizes for publicly announcing he'd rather have the coaching job at the University of Washington, then goes back to losing
FLOWERY BRANCH, Ga. - Jim Mora insisted Friday that he was trying to be funny when he said he would leave Atlanta to coach the University of Washington football team.
Okay, so Ford won't be making Mustang wagons after all. Submitter suspects some corporate big-wig has been Farking at work
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Ford Motor Company released a statement today calling reports that the company would make four-door variants of its Mustang sports car "not true."
Decisions by more than a dozen countries in the Middle East, Europe and South Asia to release the former Guantanamo detainees raise questions about whether they were really as dangerous as the United States claimed
A member of the U.S. military stands inside a cell block at Guantanamo Bay's Camp Delta in this May 9 photograph, which was reviewed by the Defense Department.
Growing body of scientific research links marijuana use to mental problems, munchies
ELEANOR HALL: A landmark study on the effects of cannabis released today explodes the myth that it's a relatively harmless drug.
Seattle office routine: Coffee, email, watch for suicidal jumpers
Dec. 13, 2006 — Troy Gilliland arrives at his office early in the morning to take in the breathtaking sunrise views of Seattle's historic Aurora Bridge as he drinks his coffee and checks e-mail. But on Dec. 9, he did a double take. There was a bloodied, crumpled body in the parking lot only 20 feet below his window.
Santa forced to flee upper-class subdivision, first after idiot teens pelt him with rocks, then again after they throw a flowerpot through his windshield when he returns to give a gift to an autistic 11-year-old girl
FATHER Christmas was forced to flee a posh estate — after being attacked by stone-throwing yobs.
Execution of inmate takes 34 minutes. Looks like the next execution is free
STARKE, Fla. - Death penalty opponents criticized the execution of a convicted murderer who took more than half an hour to die and needed a rare second dose of lethal chemicals
What's worse than being caught planting a logic bomb on your company's network so you'd get rich when its stock plunges? Getting fired? Going to jail? Losing $23,000 of your own money because you can't code? We have a winner
NEW YORK (Reuters) - A former UBS PaineWebber (UBSN.VX: Quote, Profile , Research) employee was sentenced to eight years in prison on Wednesday for planting a computer "logic bomb" on company networks and betting its stock would go down.
Panel urges broader suicide warning on antidepressants; decides to simply put "Don't listen to emo" on every bottle
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Antidepressants increase the risk of suicidal behavior for people up to age 24, the government said Wednesday. It plans new warning labels, and says users of all ages should be closely monitored.
Not news: Teen sues over being taught evolution. News: In Russia
ST. PETERSBURG, Russia - A Russian court on Wednesday held hearings in an unprecedented lawsuit brought by a 15-year-old student who says being taught the theory of evolution in school violates her rights and insults her religious beliefs.
Bush administration asks court to overturn ruling on redesigned currency for the blind. President Bush reportedly also pissed that blind guy totally gets to choose the dog or the thimble every time
WASHINGTON - The Bush administration on Tuesday asked an appeals court to overturn a ruling that could require a redesign of the nation's currency to help the blind.
Pranksters draw penis on school roof that was so large, even Google Earth could see it. Yeah, there's a SFW pic
PRANKSTERS drew a willy on the roof of a top school that was so large it could be spotted from SPACE. But it went unnoticed until it was seen on Google Earth.
