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Feb 5th
Kids as young as 13 having gastric bypass surgery, even though little is known of its long-term effects on children. Because, obviously, you can't just tell your kid to put down that sammich and exercise
NEW YORK - As the popularity of stomach surgery has skyrocketed among obese adults, a growing number of doctors are asking, "Why not children, too?"
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US soldier to go on trial Monday for refusing to go to Iraq, wants to stay stateside to protect the US from Mooninites
WASHINGTON (AFP) - First Lieutenant Ehren Watada, the first US army officer to publicly refuse orders to go to Iraq, will go on trial in a court martial Monday at Fort Lewis, Washington, according to his supporters.
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Rex Grossman's heroic performance leads Bears to victory in Super Bowl XLI. Just kidding, he throws 2 interceptions, Colts win 29-17
14:46 Devin Hester 92 yd kick return (Robbie Gould kick) Bears 7-0 6:50 Reggie Wayne 53 yd pass from Peyton Manning (failed 2pt Rush) Bears 7-6 4:34 Muhsin Muhammad 4 yd pass from Rex Grossman (Robbie Gould kick) Bears 14-6
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Feb 2nd
Clemson students apologize for holding "gangsta" party, getting caught
CLEMSON, S.C. - More than a dozen Clemson University students apologized at an emotional campus meeting for a gang-themed party many criticized as racist after photos emerged showing a white person wearing blackface, school officials said.
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Fence plowing teens caught in NY. Yep, that's gonna leave a mark
Five Deer Park teens have been arrested since October for "fence plowing," the latest rage among certain Long Island youths, according to Suffolk County police. The concept is simple: Pick out a fence, run toward it at high speed, and launch yourself like a missile to plow through the wood.
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Dems "working to clean up the financial mess left by Republicans," according to this editorial--I mean, news item. In related news, there is no such thing as liberal media bias
WASHINGTON - The House passed a $463.5 billion spending bill Wednesday that covers about one-sixth of the federal budget as Democrats cleared away the financial mess they inherited from Republicans.
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Not that anyone couldn't see it coming, but that Hornbeck kid helped his kidnapper hide another victim
(AP) An abducted teenager was ordered to guard fellow captive Ben Ownby and hide him from police after they were repeatedly left alone in their captor's apartment, an official close to the investigation told The Associated Press Thursday.
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Aussie man flees from police, gets bit on head by crocodile in aptly named city of Darwin
A man has been bitten on the head by a crocodile at Daly River, about 150 kilometres south of Darwin, while trying to flee police.
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Britain wants to send planeload of convicts to Australia. Australia says, "Oh not this shiat again"
A PLANE-load of prisoners from British jails could be headed Down Under more than 200 years after Britain first sent boats full of convicts to Australia.
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Feb 1st
Followup: Governor Charlie Crist briefly emerges from his tanning chamber to declare state of emergency, as if it weren't perpetual
TALLAHASSEE, Florida -- Gov. Charlie Crist is heading to Central Florida to see for himself storm damage from tornadoes that slammed the region this morning.
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Stacy's Pita chips are giving away a free box of chips to everyone in the US named Stacy. I got mine this morning
Stacy's Pita Chip Co. To Send 133,000 "Stacys" Snacks In Preparation for the Big Football Weekend
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Scientists plan to drop concrete balls into mouth of active volcano to stem mud flow. What could possibly go wrong? Concrete ball rain, that's what
JAKARTA, Feb 2 (Reuters) - Indonesia will drop hundreds of concrete balls into a mud volcano in a bid to brake the flow of hot liquid that has displaced more than 10,000 people and inundated entire villages in Java, an official said on Friday. The torrent of h
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That guy who drove a stretch limo 150+ mph, blew his transmission, then drove backwards at 40 mph to evade state troopers? Turns out he had a suspended license. And yes, video is included
(CBS) NORTH CASTLE, N.Y. CBS 2 has obtained exclusive video of an unbelievable limousine chase in Westchester County.
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Jan 31st
Zumba dance classes the latest media-manufactured fad you've never heard of
Jan 30, 2007 (AP)— THE BEAT: Zumba is a dance-aerobics workout that uses footwork and body movements from flamenco and other dances with Latin instrumentals and other rhythms.
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Sidney Sheldon no longer dreaming of Jeannie, dead at 89
LOS ANGELES - Sidney Sheldon, who won awards in three careers — Broadway theater, movies and television — then at age 50 turned to writing best-selling novels about stalwart women who triumph in a hostile world of ruthless men, has died. He was 89.
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Cuba's leader Fidel Castro meets with Hugo Chavez, in a private meeting that was not previously publicized. Sure, theyre wearing the same clothes as they were three months ago, but who's cares about such little details as that
HAVANA - Cuban state television Tuesday showed a video of a healthier looking Fidel Castro meeting with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and saying his recovery was "far from a lost battle," in the first images of the ailing leader shown in three months.
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How many California legislators does it take to change a lightbulb?
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A California lawmaker wants to make his state the first to ban incandescent lightbulbs as part of California's groundbreaking initiatives to reduce energy use and greenhouse gases blamed for global warming.
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Today's defendant drunk driving to court to face drunk driving charge brought to you by Brisbane, Australia. Bonus points: they crashed into cars outside the courthouse
A WOMAN driving to a Brisbane court to face a drink-driving charge crashed into cars outside the building because she was drunk, police allege.
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Student, who lives in his mom's basement, wants to "rent" a girlfriend to prove he can get one. This would make a great teen movie...but John Cusack is too old now...and not Chinese
BEIJING - A desperate Chinese university student wants to "rent" a girlfriend for 10 days so he can show her off to his parents over the Lunar New Year holiday, state media reported Wednesday.
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Jan 30th
Miss USA, out of rehab, is "a completely different person" -- most importantly, one who knows who is paying the bills
Jan. 29, 2007 — After spending 31 days in rehab for her hard-partying ways, Miss USA Tara Conner is out and is "a completely different person," she exclusively told People Magazine in an issue that will appear on newsstands this week.
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That Nationwide Insurance ad with K-Fed? Going over even better than expected
NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Kevin Federline's 15-minutes of fame may be set to flame out after the National Restaurant Association objected to his appearance in one of this year's Super Bowl XLI ads.
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Connecticut police hard at work while they stakeout and detain people for... walking their dogs on the greenway
DERBY — On an early Saturday morning last month, Bonnie Chuka was returning from a walk along the Derby Greenway with Miss Abby, her 7-year-old wheaten terrier, when the pair came upon a police car. Two officers got out and asked for identification. It was shortly after the Board of Aldermen had passed a resolution banning dogs from the greenway. Chuka, it appeared, had been caught in a stakeout. "I wasn't too happy. I was nervous," Chuka said. "I enjoy walking with her [Miss Abby]. She loves to walk."
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Police acadamy graduates 799 cadets, and not one of them can do any goddamned sound-effects
NSW Police ranks will gain 799 officers when the largest-ever class at the Goulburn Police College graduates today.
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Legal brothels claim that foreign backpackers working as illegal prostitutes are undercutting them and damaging the industry. Damn immigrants, taking our hand jobs
FOREIGN backpackers working as illegal prostitutes are undercutting legitimate operators and damaging the industry, legal brothels say.
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McDonald's tops Starbucks in Consumer Reports coffee taste test. Not sure if that says more about the quality of the coffee or the standards of McMericans
When Consumer Reports magazine compared coffee from mega-chain Starbucks with java from three fast-food restaurants, the surprising winner was – McDonald’s.
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Jan 29th
Gray wolves to be removed from endangered species list, suddenly feel endangered
BILLINGS, Mont. - Wolves in the northern Rockies will be removed from the endangered species list within the next year, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service said Friday, a move that would open the population up to trophy hunting.
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"Study: Spray Delays Ejaculation By 5 Times As Long". In other news, sales of spray to 7th graders rocket
Patients with premature ejaculation who used a topical anesthetic spray were able to delay ejaculation for five times as long, according to a study in the February issue of the urology journal BJU
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Trip into space not worth 25K to stupid cheap geek
LOS ANGELES (AP) — Brian Emmett's childhood fantasy came true when he won a free trip to outer space. He was crushed when he had to cancel his reservation because of Uncle Sam.
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Autograph session at Chicago area Costco, starring 'Refrigerator' Perry, really amuses crowd when they learn autograph items had to be purchased at that particular Costco
(CBS) MOUNT PROSPECT He was the big man on the 1985 Bears, but William "Refrigerator" Perry was involved in a promotion Saturday that got a cool reception from some fans.
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Drug dealer spared a jail sentence due to his fear of imprisonment. That's some fine judicial work, Lou
A ROOKIE drug dealer has been spared a jail sentence because of his fear of imprisonment.
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