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It's okay though - at least 90% of you don't have mouths on your dicks so talking won't be a big issue. Not like it could be heard while you choke it out anyway.

He claims to be a protege of Remi Gaillard, but I can guarantee you'd want to fill his butthole up with dynamite long before the Frenchman if he did this shit to you.

Just when you thought you've seen it all. Well enjoy it girl, because the only thing your boyfriend will be grinding for the next 8 months, is strength stats.

Unless Jenna Haze herself is running around in a school girl outfit, a group of drunk guys staring at you with a camera never a good thing. Live and learn.

Surprised he even had time to open the camera and figure out how to shoot video in between all dirtiness.

Better they didn't survive. If you woke up after something like this and realized you still lived in China you'd want to be dead.

Film yourself playing salami stuffer in the back room every weekend and you're bound to get caught. Lesson learned? With the way she inhales, definitely not.

The Paris Hilton glasses were almost a turnoff. But her Paris Hilton level of sluttyness completely made us forget about the overdone pancakes on her face.

It's a hefty claim we know - but just LOOK at those things. In her case, I'll take sloppy seconds. Make that 32nds.

Mission successful. But to be fair, it's really easy to rip a girl's underwear off when they aren't wearing any to begin with. Dude's practically aimbotting.

Well if this doesn't make you a raging racist, Lil Wayne probably will. Eventually.

Even if you lived in Arizona they might have a problem with you walking around with a weapon that big. Fucking guy needs a lasso to keep that thing in check.

This makes about as much sense as a hooker giving blood at an AIDS charity.

As if you needed more proof after smacking it around the Internet all these years. We'll just let the coin slot between her thighs tell the rest of the story.

This is why other countries are so awesome. As long as we never have to step foot in them.

Beyond-fortunate college boy scores the fuck of the century and his camera couldn't have been in a better location at the time. Internet high five for him.

Roughly translated I think this means "Justin Bieber is better than Justin Timberlake".

And it's definitely not going to be her last. You can tell by that look of complete satisfaction after half her face gets covered in homemade clam chowder.

Turns out when the guy who promised to keep a secret puts it on the Internet, a couple people are bound to find out. Especially those current boyfriend types.

The sounds she emits may be the standard for a Japanese slaughterhouse, but they're definitely a tad out of place here. Not sure if I'd go harder or gag her.